Eat that pussy and be grateful. There’s starving nice guys in fedoras who don’t have any.
Buahahahahahahaha. I almost fell out of my wheelchair.
fdhsjhfjksdfds. bahahaha. dead.
Always pray before dinner. “Thank you for letting me pleasure you, moment of silence for all the starving fedora guys. God bless.”
joey made it even better. yes.
OMG LMFAO WHAT DID I JUST READ.
THIS IS EITHER THE BEST OR THE WORST LOVE STORY I CAN’T DECIDE OMFG.
Why is it when your wife gets pregnant everyone an their mother wants to come an rub her belly an say “congratulations” but no one ever thought to rub your dick an say “good job”
- (via venusianmagic)
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms